Memoirs of a Frustrated Singer – “Muscle Memory”

Everyone was looking down at their plates. She looked down at the company program with the events listed on the sheet. Her performance time slot was next. Well, I’m really going to sing in front of my boss and coworkers right now, she thought, re-reading her name over and over again to try to make the seconds tick by faster. Yup. The DJ motioned for her to walk towards the stage.

She stepped to the center of the stage, almost tripping over the back of her dress. I shouldn’t have worn a long dress, she thought to herself. Worst idea ever.

She hadn’t sang in almost a year and half. Sure, she’d been giving vocal lessons, but that wasn’t the same as getting in front of people and performing. And these people were people that she had worked with over the past two years, who had only seen her sitting behind a desk, greeting people, taking phone calls and filing paperwork. Not belting out lyrics from behind a microphone in a floor-length evening gown.

While she sang, people who were milling around and chatting with others—even during other performances that day stopped. They stood and watched her every breath, weird face she made as she played with the melody of the song, shift of weight from one foot to the other underneath her dress. She had wanted to be background noise, but instead she was the center of everyone’s attention; she felt completely exposed.

It had felt like such a monumental experience, but as soon as she sang her last note, everyone went back to their drinks and conversation. There were brief smiles and a couple of uncomfortable stares, but she was able to finish her dessert and drink without further interruption.

The looks on her coworkers’ faces was the most surprising. Later that day, those same coworkers would stop her mid-stride to tell her things like “I didn’t know you could sing,” and “holy moly,” or “what the hell are you doing hiding behind a desk?” Mixed with compliment, admiration, envy, indifference—she couldn’t really tell. The weeks following, coworkers would treat her differently, showing clips of the performance in the hall and during lunch, gossiping when she would walk past.

What a difference a few minutes makes.

Either way, she remembered the feeling of being up on that stage. And she couldn’t forget it now.

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Musings-Bill Evans

 

[pic: jazzdagama.com]

“To imitate someone is to insult them.” – Bill Evans

When I came across this quote, it seemed so one-sided to me that I had to respond. I try my best to look at both sides of a situation or opinion, but to me, this statement seems extremely reductive because of the fact that many musicians start out their musical careers imitating someone else.

As a matter of fact, I have always told people to learn what others have done before them (their melismas, phrasing, breathing techniques, etc.) as a tool for practice. Once you have become comfortable enough and know that melodic line or vocal lick like the back of your hand, then you can start to experiment with it, adding or taking away parts, or coming up with something entirely different so that it becomes your own. For this reason, imitation is a key step in the learning process.

I wouldn’t imitate vocalists or musicians (horn players’ horn lines are great practicing tools too)if I didn’t like or respect some aspect of their playing. If I truly think something sounds slick or interesting, I’ll want to figure it out and practice singing it until I can perform it all my own because I want that idea or performance aspect as part of my musical vocabulary. That idea will be in my subconscious for the rest of my life. How could that be insulting?

I can understand why some might see this as an insult though. Some musicians think that copying or imitating is lazy; that there is no effort or original thought in imitation. I would argue the contrary because many licks, phrases, or melodies that I’ve imitated during practice have been used as a springboard or starting  point to create something entirely different. The more avenues the musicians are willing to utilize for creativity, the more potential for music that can be created. Imitation has the potential to spark creative thought, leading to something newer, different, or even, better than the original idea.

 

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Musings – Otis Redding

“If you want to be a singer, you’ve got to concentrate on it twenty-four hours a day. You can’t be a well driller, too. You’ve got to concentrate on the business of entertaining and writing songs.” -Otis Redding

I have a hard time agreeing with this quote, and the main reason why I picked it is because of the discussion that needs to take place for creative people trying to stay creative while paying bills. If I had read this quote in my late teens or early twenties–before I lived out on my own–I would’ve whole-heartedly agreed with it.

However, now that I have lived on my own for quite some time, I would say that this view isn’t always realistic. You have to pay rent and bills, so you need a job–five to eight hours are taken up by that–so you wouldn’t necessarily be able to concentrate on music all of the time. Many musicians go on to become music instructors at music academies, public schools, or as professors at a university or two-year college to be able to maintain a somewhat steady paycheck while still working in their field.

This may seem pessimistic to some, but it’s a reality that’s not really talked about as often as it should be. Being a musician–or creative person of any kind, really–in today’s world means being able to diversify yourself. Being able to write music, arrange music, play an instrument, and lead a band are all great skills that can make you a well-rounded musician and could potentially get you a lot of work, if you make the right connections. Acquiring multiple skills related to your craft can open up many different avenues and job opportunities for you.

Having a discussion about diversifying yourself in your field doesn’t mean that you’re not concentrating or focusing on music (or any other craft). It means that you study all elements of music, picking skills that you’re interested in and/ or good at, and sharpen those skills to make you a more marketable musician. This will most likely take you more than twenty-four hours at first, but in the end, will give you a head start during the times when you don’t have the luxury to devote all your time to music. This will also make you more likely to find more work than other musicians around you, potentially allowing you to continue to do what you love instead of sitting behind a desk all day, dreaming of performing or composing.

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Musings – Stevie Nicks

“If you have stage fright, it never goes away. But then I wonder: is the key to that magical performance because of that fear?” – Stevie Nicks

When I was younger, getting up to sing on stage was a terrifying experience, especially because it was just you under the spotlight with a sound system blasting a background track. No other musicians. Just you. That overwhelming feeling of sweaty palms, butterflies in your stomach, wanting to get the show over with, yet never start at the same time. . . As time passes and you gain experience, some tend to lose that familiar feeling of apprehension.

I, myself, never lost that feeling of stage fright; the feeling isn’t as strong anymore, but it still creeps up when I step onstage and look at the audience. I’ve always believed that it’s good to be a little bit nervous because it means you care about your performance, and that you want it to go well. In the case of creativity, fear is a good indicator that you’re on the right path. Doing something that scares you–even performing–helps you to grow. It is also a reminder for musicians, and other artists, to continuously stay on their toes, pushing themselves beyond the boundary of their comfort zone.

One could even argue that this feeling of stage fright can be invigorating for some, and many musicians strive to attain this feeling over and over again, whether performing, practicing,, writing, or arranging music. This need pushes some to try new things and experiment, creating great musical experiments for them and anyone around who may be watching or listening. Performances become more interesting when you see the instrumentalist or vocalist putting it all on the line and completely making themselves vulnerable. This feeling of apprehension, then, is essential to creating memorable and meaningful musical situations for both performer and listener, alike.

So the next time you see someone who is going to perform appearing to be nervous, there should be no need to say “don’t be nervous,” because maybe that feeling of nervousness or apprehension is just what they need to do an amazing show.

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Musings – Herbie Hancock

“It’s easy to get sidetracked with technology, and that is the danger, but ultimately you have to see what works with the music and what doesn’t. In a lot of cases, less is more. In most cases, less is more.” – Herbie Hancock

I think it’s so interesting that such an innovative musician who has been able to maintain his notoriety for so long because of how he is able to stay relevant, mentions the danger of technology in terms of music. Herbie is known for experimenting with different musical genres, mixing sounds and influences from other types of musics and cultures, utilizing different types of technology. With this type of approach in creating, there is a great potential to throw too much sonically at the listener or audience.

Some musicians might be tempted to play or insert as much as they can, Herbie cautions to go with “less.” For many musicians, this isn’t a new concept; I, myself, always appreciated a more simplistic approach in lyrics, melody, and arranging. However, it’s not something you would expect from a musician like Herbie Hancock, just based on his music alone. The listener tends to automatically fill in the spaces that a vocalist or instrumentalist leaves when playing less, so over-playing can become chaotic very quickly.

This isn’t to say that sometimes the music doesn’t call for more. Depending on the mood you are trying to create or message you’re trying to convey, the arrangement might need more instruments, more voices, or more sound just in general. Technology can definitely aide in this, having the potential to add synthetic sounds either during the compositional stage or even after the final recordings have finished in the studio. However, the thing that comes to mind when reading this quote by Herbie, is to try to avoid adding the extra note, instrument, or voice if you don’t need it. Many times music doesn’t need much in order to move an audience or listener, and we, as musicians, should try to remember simplicity first when creating, before trying to add more to a song just for the sake of complexity.

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Musings – Bob Dylan & Sam Cooke

“Sam Cooke said this when told he had a beautiful voice: He said, ‘Well that’s very kind of you, but voices ought not to be measured by how pretty they are. Instead they matter only if they convince you that they are telling the truth.’ [. . .]” – Bob Dylan

When I read this quote, I think of all of the singers who are able to manipulate their voices, one minute singing with a bright, vibrato-filled tone, and the next, making their voice sound gritty, nasal, and harsh. I’ve always admired vocalists who are able to pull this off–singers with the aesthetically pleasing big, operatic voice or slinky, intimate Jazz tone are impressive as well–because I believe it resembles the dynamic nature of the speaking voice more. Emotions aren’t pleasant or attractive all the time, and like life, our emotions can constantly change, minute to minute.

Vocalists who can portray these emotions through lyrics and melody are able to convey the truest form of the message in the song. Whether or not you interpret the message in the same way that they intended is a different story; the point is that the vocalist convinced you of something. I remember watching Gregory Porter perform for the very first time. He was singing, “No Love Dying,” and whether the message that I got from those lyrics was the same message he was trying to convey when he wrote and sang them is of no consequence. I was truly convinced, feeling the same adamant faith, unconditional love, and relentless  need for self-reassurance–I wept like an old woman right in the middle of that theater. I’m not sure if those were the emotions that he was trying to project, but that’s what I picked up on and it felt very real to me.

That is why I can agree with Bob Dylan and Sam Cooke’s quote when they say that having a beautiful singing voice is nice, but what you make the audience feel is much more important. I strive constantly to really feel what I’m singing; to be conscious of the words and how they might be related to melody, knowing that I am conveying a message, communicating emotions to the people around me. This is truly a skill that takes years to master; I, myself am still learning, and performers that have been doing this for years still don’t get it right at times. People always say that music is its own language and this quote only strengthens that idea because vocalists truly are communicating feelings that someone might have felt at some point throughout their life. Musicians will always care about how they sound (tone, groove, etc.), but connecting with others through how we express emotions and experiences will be remembered long after our sound disappears.

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Musings-Maya Angelou

“Success is liking yourself, liking what you do, and liking how you do it.” -Maya Angelou

Even though this quote isn’t from a musician, it resonated with me because I strongly agree with it and disagree with it at the same time. The idea can be applied to both the person working the nine to five desk job and anyone wanting to create something.

The idea is simple. Of course if you truly believe in yourself and like yourself, you’ll more than likely try to go for that job promotion or be willing to take more risks and experiment when either practicing or performing. You won’t let what others say or do (or how well another musician might be playing) keep you from doing things that you want to do. This concept can easily be applied to a regular job, but the fact of the matter is that when it comes to creativity (musicians especially), you are never really happy or satisfied with yourself, whether it comes to how you practice or execute your craft. Musicians are notorious for this; we constantly strive to be the best, sacrificing time, money, personal relationships, and even everyday necessities or comforts to write that perfect song, play that difficult lick, tackle a solo, or performance. And because a lot of us constantly doubt our abilities, it is harder to bounce back emotionally when someone criticizes the work we produce or treats us in a way we don’t like.

When you enjoy what you do, you will most likely want to do more of it. True. However, with music, it can be more of a love-hate relationship, especially when first learning how to play an instrument or sing. You want to master your instrument so bad, yet it takes time and countless failures to get to an intermediate or acceptable level of playing. Many times you feel like quitting and taking breaks is probably a good idea, because when you don’t, frustration turns to anger and confusion, which ultimately leads to more slip-ups. This process never gets easier, by the way–the more you learn and the more advanced you become on your instrument, the more you want to achieve. I will say, in my case though, that I love singing. Once I learned the basics of singing technique and how to sing without straining your vocal chords, I couldn’t stop. Now when I practice, I find myself singing for hours, when I had only intended to sing for 45 minutes! Singing doesn’t feel like work to me anymore, so that is why I can agree with this aspect of the quote above. When you love what you do, you’ll want to do more of it, producing things (or music) more genuine and authentic to you.

Liking this whole process of doing what you love is probably the hardest part when it comes to being a musician. We write and write and write only to abandon or throw out completely a song that we spent days working on. A lot of the time, if we don’t like how something sounds or how something is being played, we change it completely, and because of this, I have a hard time agreeing with Angelou. Musicians constantly change how we do things all the time. In an office, sending out mail or sending emails is the same day after day. There isn’t a need to change how you do things if it works. Music is dynamic and as such will always changes in some aspect or another. Musicians have to  be sure enough in themselves to commit to these changes when they happen otherwise music can’t evolve. One thing is for sure: because of how difficult it is to create music and be a musician, this is something you can’t do if you don’t love it.

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Musings-Jane Monheit

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[p.c. : janemonheitonline.com]

“Vocalists must study music and know everything an instrumentalist needs to know.” -Jane Monheit

This quote seems obvious to many musicians. Why wouldn’t vocalists study all the same things that an instrumentalist would? Often, I have come across a good amount of singers who struggle with things like basic music theory because they focus more on the performance aspect of singing, and not the actual reading and writing skills necessary for music-making. This doesn’t seem like that big of a deal, but it can cause a lot of potential issues both on and off stage.

Whether they will admit it or not, non-singing musicians are aware of the negative stereotypes associated with vocalists. Singers can quite often be considered “divas,” having unreasonable requests for fellow band mates and stage crew members; not being very cognizant of other musicians and how to communicate and/or work with others. Not knowing how to read music is another common notion that instrumentalists can have about vocalists (I am speaking from my own personal experience; if you or others have experienced something different, I apologize if it appears as if I am generalizing), and quite often, this thought alone can ruin a working relationship between a singer and other instrumentalists because they can come across as condescending, not asking for the singer’s musical or stylistic input.

Communication is key for vocalists when they perform, so why wouldn’t we want to know the language in which we’re communicating so that we can relay our messages better? Music is a language. We must be aware of not only how it works for when we perform, but also so that we may create our own musical ideas to communicate with others. If I always have to rely on someone else to write the music for lyrics I write, it will take twice as long for me to finish a song as it would if I knew how to just write the music by myself.

As vocalists, we should know how to do everything an instrumentalist knows how to do because we should be able to be viewed on the same level as they are both on and offstage. It not only makes it easier to create our own music and communicate to our audiences and fellow musicians, but also makes us more versatile and competitive as musicians and working, ambitious individuals.

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Musings-Brian Blade

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[p.c. : drummerworld.com]
“Not to deny that it is a thinking people’s music, but when I listen to music, if I ever catch myself thinking, I’m in trouble–I know something is wrong.” -Brian Blade
Whenever I think of really good music, it always seems to be reactionary. It feels and sounds like a conversation between instruments and players, singers and other performers. That’s why I love this quote because music should feel to some extent like the musicians aren’t thinking; they’re just reacting. Music is just being created.

That isn’t to say that there isn’t a certain degree of thinking involved when creating and playing music. However, I feel like there should be more “thinking”involved, obviously, in the preparation process –practicing to master a new skill or to get ready for a gig. We hope that we almost over-prepare to the point where we don’t have to think about these things and that they become almost second-nature or reactionary.

Something that also results from feeling or reacting in musical situations is the ability to know when something doesn’t sound right (rhythmically or melodically). We sometimes let our heads get in the way of our playing, overthinking that last note or solo we played, but in doing so can severely cripple our potential for creating even better musical situations than we originally intended. I believe that this is what Blade is referring to when he says, “[ . . .] If I ever catch myself thinking, I’m in trouble [. . . ]”

Music is an inherently human thing. Communication is a key element of the creative process that is music. So, once we as musicians get to a point in our music-making where we become confident enough to appear and play as though we are reacting or communicating, the musical situation becomes more meaningful and enjoyable for not only the musicians, but the audience as well.

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Musings-Herbie Hancock

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[p.c. : laphil.com]
“Jazz is really about the human experience. It’s about the ability of human beings to take the worst of circumstances and struggles and turn it into something creative and constructive. That’s something that’s built into the fiber of every human being. And I think that’s why people can respond to it. They feel the freedom in it.”–Herbie Hancock

When I read this quote, I automatically replaced the word, “Jazz” with the word, “music,” because Jazz isn’t the only type of music that this statement applies to. All of music is a human experience because you can find instances of people taking their stories and struggles and turn it into some type of creative product across different cultures and in different communities around the world. It is very interesting to see similarities and parallels between different cultures in terms of how music is created, performed and shared. Freedom and progression are two inherently human needs. I believe that this is the element of humanity that Herbie is referring to.

Although music, itself, is mutable, Jazz is one of the few musics that can not only influence, but be influenced by other musics. It relies heavily on improvisation, yet still retains a certain musical format. Decades later, there is still so much freedom and progression in the music that it’s no wonder why people keep turning back to it, responding to it in a positive way. The music is constantly evolving, changing with the times, and yet still retains some of its original quality.

All the while I write this response, I keep thinking that this statement (that Herbie Hancock made) is so Herbie Hancock. He is the epitome of this quote: the type of musician that is able to progress with his music and ideas, staying relevant when so much of the music industry and the world itself has changed. He has been able to become and stay as successful as he has been because he is constantly evolving and adapting, both as a person and as a musician; being part of the human experience.

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